Sunday, July 24, 2016

 “I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything,” Jerry Seinfeld. I loved the Jerry Seinfeld show, absolutely loved it, still quote lines from the show sometimes.

We have been so busy, but not with nothing! Days filled with life, underscored with an understanding. If generations of poets, lyricists, and authors gathered to pen the beauty of our days right now, even they would fall short because there are just no words. But, we have been here before. Daring to plan a vacation; daring to register Eli for school; daring to buy him new clothes; daring to commit myself to activities; daring to use funds for improving a home that we
believe we will never leave, and even daring to take on the responsibility of dog. We’ve done all of that, daring to anchor our family as a whole at home. I have allowed my mind to entertain hope before, holding to it so confidently and securely… naively. I know the pain of losing hope, felt it slowly overtaken by hopeless shadows, and lived in tortuous mourning for it. So, with caution, I allow hope into my days now, but it feels like a trick. I feel vulnerable and exposed, like a target for Evil. I do, literally, “dare” to enjoy the day.

Eli seems to be doing really well, as far as we can tell. He is the same as he has been, how great is that? He has quite a bit of hair growing in, but it is very patchy, and he has the signature radiation
 treatment stripe down the middle. I shaved him up to even out what he has, praying it grows back as good as it did last time, but I don’t know, it seems like it is taking longer, and he is on chemo. We go to Augusta Thursday for clearance to begin cycle four, so it will be interesting to see what his blood work is this time after the lower TMZ dose over five days. I expect, with his history he will be delayed some. Since it is a quick appointment on Friday, I plan to take all the kids, and spend a night in Atlanta to go to the aquarium, which they have wanted to do for a while. But we hope (there that word is again) to take an actual, relaxing beach vacation toward the end of September, after this next scan at the end of August,
and after our big fundraiser for the non-profit group, which is in September, childhood cancer month. I really want to get Eli to clear, blue water, he has been asking for that for years. So, I’m hoping to
take the kids down to around Siesta Key, Florida.

We have been busy continuing to check things off the kids’ summer bucket list, after checking some chores off my list (although our play fort is still not finished being painted. These pop-up rain storms are killing that effort). We’ve been to the waterpark; they’ve all been to Bible camp, one has been twice; LOVED getting to go to Vacation Bible School this year; been fishing; they’ve all had friends over; we’ve been to the movie theater, and have one more to go; had dedicated time for video games; we’ve stayed up late watching a movie or two; completed driver’s education; the girls went to drawing camp, and the boys went to lego camp. Eli struggled a little bit at Lego camp the first day,
probably a sign of what it is going to be like for him getting back into a school atmosphere. He was so frustrated, that he cried and was so sad for the rest of the evening. I felt so bad! There should be no crying at Lego camp! I think the instructions were different, and he just couldn’t follow, and I think just had a hard time accomplishing what he wanted or what they were asking him to. He follows instructions at home, and does not enjoy free-handing. If he has trouble, by the time he decides to ask a question, usually a teacher has moved on. It didn’t help that Caleb just breezed through it, was one of the stars of the week, and was just overflowing with excitement to share with us about what he had done. So, it
made Eli kind of sad and jealous, I think, that Caleb did so well. But, I talked to the teacher and just told her that he will not likely speak up with a question for help, so if they could just kind of notice if he looks confused, to ask him. And, I told him to avoid the hardest projects since his time was limited. He really did not want to go back, and I was so tempted to not make him, because it was just Legos, but it WAS Legos! So, I made him, and talked to the teacher in confidence, and he had a great time from there on out, really loved it. He also accomplished something in his bible class that he’s been working toward, so I’m so glad that he met that goal. His personality, plus the treatment, really makes it hard for him to pursue goals, and stay focused on those goals. Beginning school is going to be really
interesting. We have registered him with an online school through our city system, and he can go in for help from a teacher any time. Plus, he qualifies for special education, so I am hopeful for that combination.

So, it’s been wonderfully, and beautifully busy. Eli’s mustang is away getting pampered with a new supercharger and some other peripheral things, so Vic and Eli have been buzzing about that. Meanwhile, Big Sam is temporarily benched. Either build-up in the catalytic converters is causing problems (which we already know it has) or the fuel pump is going out, but until we have time to deal with him and know for certain that it is just a maintenance issue, he has been benched, and Mini Pearl, our RAV4, has been pulling his
load. He’s tough, and who among us couldn’t benefit from a good flushing. I think he will go into semi-retirement and rarely, if ever again, go on any trips (sad sigh). Our RAV4, which will be Hg’s car eventually, is one of the last models with third row seating, so we look like a circus act piling out of it. Also, at home, we have also started having the sidewalk poured to place our cement slabs with the kids foot and hand prints that we did back in the winter. It’s a big of a mess right now, but I will be so happy to check that off.

It may be too early to share this, but after much research and discussion, we will be adding to our family at the end of August, first of September! We expect to bring home a female Yorkie-poo puppy. We’ve visited several shelters, let the kids get their hands on lots of dogs (and kittens), but Vic is
adamant about the shedding, and the boys seem a little bit scared of the dogs if they are even knee high to them with lots of energy, so we just
needed something to fit us,or it won’t last. We had kind of settled on finding a shih tzu puppy, but this opportunity came up for a Yorkie-poo, and it seems as perfect as we can get on paper. So, feeling like we had done our due diligence in researching, and learning, we committed to it. The kids are super excited, but if you think picking a dog was grueling, you should hear the name discussions. Don’t know if it will ever have one. We went to PetCo, just to let the kids look at stuff because they were just dying to do something dog-ish, and they
(Hg) found a “first-time owners” guide manual. They girls are readers, so I thought couldn’t hurt, and we bought it. The cashier said, “I’ve been working here several years, and this is first time anyone has ever bothered to buy this book. Good for you, and good luck!” Ha! Yes, we are a little nerdy.

I have been covered up in Superhero Day preparations. This is a childhood cancer awareness event for our non-profit, and it is a lot of fun, but a lot of work, a lot of people involved. In addition to that prep, I am hoping to beef up Vic’s batman costume, and Hg is going to be Honey Lemon to escort our Baymax character, so trying to figure out how to get that done. September is childhood cancer month, if anyone wants to host an “Eli’s Block Party”, a car show to benefit our non-profit and raise awareness in your community, let me know, we can help you get it going. Our donation this year will be going to the Children’s Oncology Group. Thank you for continuing to remember Eli in your prayers, and remembering to give thanks for the blessings in this earthly life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.