Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Eli on the playground at school. So fun to see him running
and playing (his version of running).
God is the reason I can find peace. A friend recently said she was angry at God for the trials that we are enduring during Eli’s little life, so I wanted to make it clear to all who read about Eli that God is the reason I can find peace. The evil that has victimized this sweet boy can be easily traced to its originator, the Father of All Lies, whom I hate. But, God has provided the escape and is the reason that I can find peace. There is coming a day for us that holds the last minute on this side with Eli and the first minute on that side with Eli. Because that day looms, it is imperative that I believe God’s promise so that I can breath. I believe that the men who wrote the text included in what we know as the Bible did so as directed by the Holy Spirit. I believe that ancient documents independent of religion corroborate the Bible. Through providential events, the inspired recordings have been translated and preserved so that God’s thoughts, plan, and will have been and
Eli and his puppet Carbon Smolder.
are available to all generations. So, when I say that I believe God’s promise of heaven to be true, I don’t mean that I just hope it is true or that I want it to be true. When I say that I believe it, I mean that I know it to be true because God said it. So, God is the reason that I can find peace because I believe in His promise of heaven, which Jesus describes as “paradise” in Luke 23:43 as he was dying on the cross. That is not to say that I don’t get angry. I’ve written many times about it. And, in my weaker, selfish moments, I do question God, and I do get angry at the situation and certainly at Satan since he is the creator of evil. But, I don’t think that I’ve ever been angry at God because He has provided that beautiful, joyous home on the other side. As a mother, I can think of no greater hell than to be separated from my child, unable to reach him and put my hands on him. To have the thought pass through my head makes me sick to my stomach even now. So, without my confidence in heaven, I would be unable to walk without dropping to my knees, or talk without sobbing, or just to breath. Early on in Eli’s first treatment, I used to follow a
girl who was dying of cancer and her mother hated God. She was bitter and pain-struck. She would often say how much she hated God for allowing this evil to happen, and then in the next breath say that she didn’t believe in Him. How could she hate and blame something or someone that she didn’t believe existed? Well, she was, obviously, emotionally charged, and I hurt for her because the situation was so sadly intense, but I was also hurt that she was so vicious toward God. She often snapped at anyone who posted that they prayed for her and her daughter, but I always did anyway (though I never posted that I did because it obviously upset her). I prayed that her eyes would be opened to see from whom evil is born. And it is not from the God who had paradise awaiting for her daughter, untouchable to any evil of any world. I prayed that this tortured mother find peace, and still do pray that for her though I finally had to stop following
Caleb at his Easter Egg Hunt with an actual
basket and not just a halloween bucket that
hadn't been put away yet.
 because the posts were painful. So, she continues to be on my prayer list, and I think a congregation reached out to her. I don’t know if anything ever came of it, but if Saul of Tarsus, an infamous persecutor of Christians, can see the light, I think she can, too. Please, pray that this mother and mothers like her can have the piece of their hearts stolen by the Evil One replaced by the peace that comes from knowing that a home with a loving Father awaits their children.

I have had a busy and stressful week. It’s been physical and emotional with all the moving and packing and just in general family stress. I have been working on cleaning out the house and getting everybody moved over to my mom’s town home so that the renovation crew can hopefully get started next week. I am still several days from getting it cleaned out for them, but we are at least sleeping at the town home now, so laundry and homework are here which is huge. It was kind of a two-steps forward, and one or three steps back, depending on the day, so I just could not get traction toward getting it cleaned out enough with everyone under foot. The town home is a mess, now that we are here because we just dumped on top of mom’s stuff that was still here. So, now, I’ve got to clean out the town home so that we can put things away and
Our set up right now... until we need to
quarantine again.
not continue to live in a mess, just in a different location. But, at home, I do have the upstairs clear, and plan to get the downstairs done by the beginning of the week. I will not be posting much since I need to be working, but today, we are headed to Birmingham for the evening for something really fun for Eli. I will be eager to post about it. He has chemo on Friday, so maybe I can write then. The DVD drive continues until April 20th. We have collected about 50-plus, so well over our goal of 30. Thank you so much for your generosity in that. He, and the rest of the kids, have had fun picking out some that are their favorites with money I have been given to purchase DVD’s for the drive. Eli has been in our local paper, and on about the drive, so that has helped get the word out. Eli’s scan will be in two weeks in Memphis. I am starting to get really nervous. He seems fine, but an appointment is coming where I again hear “it’s back”, so the more appointments behind me, mean the less in front of me. This is why in the text above I used the phrase “find” peace. I don’t
live “in” peace. I have to remind myself to find it. I’m just thankful every day that I know where to look.

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