Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A storm came up fast tonight as I was with the kids at a pool party in our neighborhood for the Girl Scouts. Strong winds mostly, but nasty looking on the radar heading our way. I’ve written before about my mother’s terror of storms and about the storm shelter we had growing up. I would not consider myself afraid of storms. However, if I have no information about what is happening, the sky is black, the wind is pushing down the tops of the trees, and our baby pool is doing cartwheels across the yard, then, yes, I am scared. If, after knowing a storm is dangerous, I have nowhere for us to go that is acceptably safe, then I’m scared. The severity of the storm is one thing, but it’s a different kind of scary not knowing what is coming, and being unprepared for it. I am so glad to come home although as I have mentioned before I am a frontlines kind of gal. So, it was, yet again, so difficult to leave one of my children and to leave knowing the fight he was facing. I want to be with him as he struggles, I want to be with the girls for their activities, and I want to be with Caleb as he grows and changes so fast. The tension is tight in my heart every day. Eli’s white blood cell count is expected to bottom-out today or soon at least, so he and Vic will self-quarantine, which probably won’t bother Vic. My mother bought Eli a new XBOX console to have in his room, so I’m betting that Vic won’t be hurting too bad. The hospital let them go home tonight, late. Eli had his stem cell transplant today which I think was painful and made him feel bad while it was going on. It took about an hour, but then I think he started feeling a little better once it was over. He also started on TPN tonight, which is the process for receiving nutrition through his line. He will still need to eat at least a bite of something to keep his bowels happy, which they absolutely are not right now as he continues to struggle with that “end.” But, the doctors and nurses seem to be watching all of that closely becasue of the bacteria threat in anything he excretes. They had a busy day today, and I have not talked to Vic tonight because they were just leaving the hospital at 9 p.m. The kids and I got home early evening yesterday and got reacquainted. Hannah Grace was whining and belly-aching about little things I was asking her to do for herself. Abbey curled her lip and said, “Daddy treats Hannah Grace like a princess.” And, I said to both of them, “Well, the Queen is in the house now.” And, to their credit they have tried a little, I can actually tell. The girls and I stayed up late last night to watch Muppets in Outer Space, and Caleb and I have played trains some – not nearly enough for him. He and I did get in a big fight because I reminded him that his pacy was strictly for bedtime. He puts them under his pillow for safe-keeping, so he has been running upstairs and grabbing him a little pull every now and then when he needs a fix. His answer to many things these days is “Dadee wet (let) me.” Not a lot of plans this week yet. We do plan to re-pot one of Abbey’s plants she got from Girl Scouts a while back. She and Hg painted me clay pots in one of their classes. I do love when they make things for me, I hope I didn’t lose anybody by saying that I don’t keep every piece of art they create. If it is a special piece to them, I try to keep it. Caleb still has a resurrection egg carton that his teacher gave him before Easter. Each egg has something in it to represent Jesus and his crucifixion. The box is beat up and torn, but he loves looking inside each egg and telling me what it is. In one is a hershey's kiss. He shows it to me, and says "Don't eat that, it's not for eating." Hmmm, I wonder why he thinks I  would eat a piece of chocolate. So, I keep what is special to them. And, I’m so glad for teachers that take time with them to do crafts and projects, teaching them to do things for other people. I’m just not much on “keeping”. The picture tonight is of Eli going IN to be in-patient at St. Jude last Thursday night. You can tell by the look on his face he didn’t know what was going to hit him, did he? But, as of tonight, one round down, three more to go.

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